A letter to my Instagram Friend

I double clicked on the perfectly square picture on my Instagram newsfeed. A gentle path winding out into a lush forest of pines. I read the comments and saw my Instagram friend had posted information about her blog, which covered the topics of anxiety. In an effort to connect, I posted a link to my own story about anxiety which is featured on yogajournal.com. 

Her response made my heart beat. 

She described her feelings after she had read my story and asked if we could make contact via email so that we could talk about breathwork...the key to my recovery from my own debilitating anxiety. 

I agreed. And in her email to me she invited me to share how I had done it. How I had rid myself from the grip of fear. This is what I wrote:

Hello!

I am so happy you read my story and that you felt comfortable in contacting me. I read in your email that anxiety has been impacting your life in a way that is disruptive and disappointing and that you only received minimal relief from participating in yoga. I hear you and hope that what I am about to share will give you some ideas on things you can start doing to decrease the impact of that anxiety and fear.

If you are seeing a doctor or therapist, please check with him/her to make sure these items will work well for you. If you aren't seeing a doctor for your anxiety, please consider doing so just in case your situation isn't completely clear to me. I don't want to steer you wrong....

I am going to tell you exactly what I did that helped me get better. What I suggest you do is try a few of the activities, read some of the material that influenced my mind-space and see how it feels. When you try an activity, don't create too many expectations about how it 'should' feel. Just let it be what it is. No judgements. No self criticisms. When you read something, only absorb the information that rings true to you. For example, I read a Buddhism book. There were countless ideas in that book that changed my ideas forever. But the part about reincarnation and some of the things about Buddhas and gods wasn't for me at the time. I just took what made sense to me and left behind the rest. 

It all began with Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a groundbreaking zen-Buddhist-based therapy created by Marsha Linehan at the University of Washington. I used this therapy to learn how to manage my overwhelming emotions (sadness and fear). "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" by McKay, Wood, & Brantley is what I used to practice distress tolerance skills, mindfulness, and emotion regulation. 

After I truly dedicated myself to practicing DBT with the use of a journal for about 6 months, I chose to attend Buddhist meditation classes. I didn't care for singing, but the meditation and topics covered in the discussions helped me learn how to control my racing mind even further. This is where I purchased and read "Eight Steps to Happiness" by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso. In this book I learned how to stop being dissatisfied with my past, my present, and the unknowns of the future. It was another very meaningful read in my recovery. 

Now, I had been doing DVD yoga, very haphazardly, for many years. The meditation at the end was nice but I hadn't gotten a lot of lasting mental health results. Then I took an Anusara immersion in Belligham, WA at Eight Petals Yoga. Alexis Britton taught the course and it really turned the tides for me in a crucial way. She asked us to read The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. This ancient script is published in many different ways and analyzed by many different authors. I chose the edition written by Edwin Bryant. In this book, I learned what yoga really is...and it turned out to NOT be what I had found on the DVD or even in most yoga classes I'd wandered into. Yoga was all about stilling the mind! So I read it, I journaled, I shared with other yogis what they were learning and we practiced yoga in a whole new way. If you could make it to one of these immersions, I think you may find a whole new side of yoga that can help ease your busy mind. One of Alexis' immersions is happening on April 6th in la Conner at Crescent moon Yoga, if you are interested. She labels it as teacher training, but it's really just a deep-rooted learning of how beautiful and wonderful the practice of yoga can be. 

Sooo, with all the mind-training from the DBT, the Buddhist principals, and the Sutras, I began practicing yoga from a whole different plane. I did the whole postures thing and moved through all the poses but the new focus was on staying solid, practicing balance, facing my own insecurities on the mat...which equated to doing those things in my mind when I felt weak, unbalanced, and fearful out in the real world. 

I've saved the best for last.....the breathing. Oh the breathing! Thank the universe for the breathing. It turns out that when we get scared, feel fearful, or anticipate something bad, our sympathetic nervous systems acts different. We breathe faster and less deeply. When this happens, it triggers our parasympathetic systems (small parts of our blood flow system) to tighten. This creates an increase in blood pressure & heart rate and adrenaline. So, what I did was to learn how to regulate the breathing so that my blood vessels will stay relaxed, my heart rate will stay low, and my adrenals won't pump out adrenaline. The basic breathing that I try to do as much as possible throughout my day is abdominal breathing. Google it. The Anusara immersion will also teach you. Bee breath is another technique. I use it when I'm feeling poorly. It truly calms you. Also found in the Anusara Immersion with Alexis. And on Google. The third, that I use about three to four times per week is alternate nostril breathing. It immediately calms me and also reduces blood pressure and heart rate if practiced regularly for four months or more. I use it when I drive or when I'm stuck somewhere for too long. There are others.YogaJournal.com has many articles on breathwork. 

Also, I started running. I use it to expel the energy that sometimes builds up in me. Anxious energy. When I run, I feel tired after, and that forces me to let go of some of the things I am holding onto. 

A couple tidbits I do:
Child's pose...when I feel overwhelmed. I stay there for up to 10 minutes or more. 
Hip openers...they truly expel tension that builds up. Hold these types of poses for longer and longer periods to experience more of the 'release'. 
Inversions.....use these poses to feel a sense if calm. My fav is supported headstand (learned in that immersion). 
Anusara...this type of yoga is heart centered, emotionally balanced yoga. Find teachers at eight petals in b'ham and Crescent Moon in La Conner, WA
Music...I listen to Tibetan bells when I want to get still. 
Oils...I use lavender oil on my temples and pillow to create calm. 

I hope this helps. Please contact me and tell me how things go. Maybe you can blog about your experiences and send me the links when you do. 

Love & light to you,

---Rashel

Still Your Mind

To my children:

In your lifetime, now & in the future, you have and will experience things that cause you to feel bad. I have witnessed these occurrences many times since the first of you were born in 1992. 

- sadness over a lost toy

- frustration towards an intruding sibling

- embarrassment at being different 

- jealousy regarding a friends abundance of mall T's and cool shoes

- self-doubt as a result of not being invited to a party

- fear of getting a bad grade or not performing well at a sport

Each of these words (sadness, frustration, embarrassment, jealousy, self-doubt, & fear) are examples of how humans suffer. These types of negative experiences will re-occur over & over in your lifetime. Later they look a bit different. Perhaps like this:

- sadness if you have to move away from a place you love

- frustration towards outsiders in the affairs of your relationship

- embarrassment at having said something you didn't quite think through

- jealousy over the nice things your neighbor may have (boats, nice landscaping, fine clothes, etc)

- self-doubt after the breakup of a serious relationship

- fear of not meeting your spouse's expectations

My point here is that as you move through different stages of development, the problems you encounter change, yet stay the same. You will not escape problems. They will just look different depending on where you are at in your life. 

Childhood tears lead to teenage angst. 

Teenage angst morphs into the stresses of college life. 

The stresses of college life often turn into the pressures of raising a young family. 

The pressures of raising a young family lead to the responsibilities of sending older children to college. 

The responsibilities of sending those older children to college lead to the adjustment of losing your youthfulness and preparing for retirement. 

And so on. 

The problems or sufferings in your life will not let up. 

I have a great message, though, to share with you. I have found a way to greatly reduce the pain that is associated with all of the obstacles you are going to face in the future. This 'way' can even help you put to rest the discomforts of negative experiences in your past. 

The way is this:

Practice restraint, stillness, and neutrality of your constantly moving state of mind.  

I watch you all sitting around thinking about your problems. You analyze them, make assumptions about what others are thinking, create grand stories about what is going to happen next. You place your problems (and yourself) into a very limiting box and just settle into the made-up story that you came up with. 

Many times you make huge mistakes in your thinking. You only analyze a partial list of the facts; you assume completely wrong; and things don't look at all like the ending you made up in your noggin. Most of the time all that thinking just caused you suffering (confusion, frustration, disappointment, and sadness). 

So, let us learn how to still the madness of thoughts bouncing around in our mind like monkeys. Let us learn what to do when we experience this Monkey Mind. Read my words; believe them because I have lived them; trust me; and then try the things I ask of you. 

I love you. 

I love the people you are in love with. 

I love your children and the people they love 

And I love your children's children and all the people whose lives they will touch. 

Let us us do good together and plant the seeds of happiness that will ripple out to them all. 

This Yogini.....

Garland Pose, Rashel Fitchett, photo by Thomas Fitchett

Who is this yogini? That is a question I asked about myself recently as I contemplated the idea of how "trained" I am in the school of yoga. What experiences have molded me into who I am in the world of this ancient middle eastern philosophy of mind, body, and universe. 

Included in my own answers were the subjects of home practice, official trainings, workshops, literature, and yoga classes.



Home Practice:
2002-Present: Includes the following

• Yoga (Hatha, Vinyasa, Ashtanga, Restorative, Anusara)
• Pranayama (Ujjayi, Anuloma Viloma)
• Meditation
• Journaling & Blogging

Bird of Paradise, Rashel Fitchett, photo by Thomas Fitchett

Official Training:

Anusara Immersion- 50 hour study of Anusara yoga (Asana, Philosophy, Pranayama, Meditation)

• Detailed Exploration of the Universal Principles of Alignment^™
• Tantric Yoga Philosophy & History of Yoga
• Anatomy Components for a Strong & Safe Practice
• Fundamental Pranayama, Meditation, Journaling & Sanskrit
• All Asana from the Anusara's Level 1 & 2 Syllabus

Workshops:

Melina Meza at Surya Yoga in Yakima, WA

Study and practice of-

• Hatha Yoga
• Ayurveda
• Whole foods nutrition
• Healthy lifestyle promotion into a unique style called Seasonal Vinyasa.

Literature:

• The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: A New Edition, Translation, and Commentary by Edwin F. Bryant
• The Bhagavad Gita
• The Anatomy of Movement by Blandine Calais-Germain
• Anusara Yoga Immersion Manual by John Friend
• Anusara Yoga Teacher Training Manual by John Friend
• Yoga Journal Magazine
• Yogafit by Beth Shaw

Yoga Classes:

• Kundalini Yoga at the Anacortes Center for Happiness
• Yoga with Dunja at the Anacortes Center for Happiness
• Sun Salutations Yoga with Lashel Church at Surya Yoga
• Yoga with Jennifer McFarland at  Crescent Moon Yoga 
• Yoga with Alexis Britton at Crescent Moon Yoga
• Hatha Yoga at the Burlington Parks and Recreation Center

Favorite Poses:

• Headstand
• Bird of Paradise
• Crane
• Wheel
• Wild Thing
• Side Plank
• Standing Splits
• Full Lotus
• Scorpion ...at the wall ;)

My home practice began in 2002 when I chose to try new methods of handling the stress of being a military wife and mother of three. My home practice remained steady until December of 2011, when I chose to begin the process of teacher training to become a yoga instructor. Since then, I have added to my home practice, visits to local yoga studios where I have enjoyed multiple types of yoga taught by different instructors. My reading list is always full of yoga-based literature and I rely on my Yoga Journal magazine to keep my perspective fresh. Adding workshops, here and there, is a fun way, I've found, to expand my knowledge. 

My ultimate goal is to teach yoga someday. Finding a place to become officially certified by the Yoga Alliance has been difficult, as traveling away from the demands of the family has curtailed those efforts. Until then, I will continue to practice, read, and expose myself to more yoga in ways that further deepen my connection to my mind, body, and this universe. 

Standing Bow Pose, Rashel Fitchett, photo by Thomas Fitchett

Beginner Yogi's

I remember the first time I stepped on a yoga mat. It was blue and I laid it out in my living room in front a TV cued with Rodney Yee. My husband had just left for a deployment to the Middle East after the attacks on the World Trade Center towers and I was left, for the first time, to parent three young children in a town far away from “home”. I was scared, unsure, and sad.

On that mat, I practiced, for the first time, poses like Mountain, Bow, and Bridge. I experienced heat and resistance and then practiced the skill of staying still under the strange new feelings. When I finished, there was a vibration deep in my body. At the time, I just recognized it as something strangely enjoyable. And I went back to that mat, again and again through that entire deployment to capture that oddly pleasant sensation.

Today, I call that feeling strength, mindfulness, grace, and joy. It is what I practice now, as a more seasoned yogini, with much greater depth and intensity. I explore the edges of my yoga practice to find more strength, more mindfulness, more grace, and more joy. When I find them, I rejoice.

These characteristics of mind and body I now use off of my mat to meet the obstacles of each day. I find these obstacles readily and they can look like this:

• ·     an unexpected mess in the kitchen
• ·     an email from Husband saying he's leaving the country for a month
• ·    a car that won't start the day after Husband leaves the country for a month
• ·     a lost remote control
• ·     an unexpected call from the doctor saying to come for more tests
• ·     your sad child whose dreams just fell to pieces
• ·     a crazy-hair day
• ·     an angry driver shaking a fist at your car
• ·     a disappointed child voicing an strong opinion

All of these forms of resistance are the same resistance I meet on the mat. When I find them in my day, I now still myself. I practice “yoga” and decline my own personal invitation to judge, react, or get spun up in an emotion.

B.K.S. Iyengar is a yoga guru who is considered one of the most influential practitioners in the world (Aubrey, 1995). In his book “Light on Life: The Yoga Journey to Wholeness, Inner Peace, and Ultimate Freedom”, Iyengar explains that even the most beginning of yoga students can access these positive returns from yoga. An individual who has never practiced yoga can step on a mat, make his or her first attempt at Mountain Pose and immediately begin to feel the pleasant experiences of centeredness, strength, and joy. He can learn how to meet obstacles with stillness and positive intention.

As I lay in bed reading his words, last night, I wanted to jump up atop the coveres and joyfully yell, “YES! Yes, this is true! It IS!” I remembered my first Mountain Pose, on that blue mat, in that husband-less living room, with those Tibetan Bells ringing true in the background of Rodney Yee’s voice and I remembered those feelings that I hadn’t felt before.  

And while I lay there in my bed, reading my book, I became certain that I could share this with others. I could become a yoga teacher and share with others how to tap into these fantastic subtle body pleasantries that may be sitting dormant, waiting for the opportunity to show themselves.

Aubrey, Allison. "Light on life: B.K.S. Iyengar's Yoga insights". Morning Edition: National Public Radio, November 10, 1995. (full text) Accessed July 4, 2007

Iyengar, B.K.S. Light on Life: The Yoga Journey to Wholeness, Inner Peace, and Ultimate Freedom. Rodele Books, 2005.

Dispassion....for coffee, too??

Dispassion was the first word I saw when I opened my favorite 598 page book, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: A New Edition, Translation, and Commentary by Edwin Bryant.

The word immediately struck a cord. I didn’t need to read anymore. I knew right away that the Eastern Yogic tradition was going to enlighten me about how my “passions” should be of the “dis” nature. 

Passion is one of my favorite words, though. How could I possibly choose to have a lack of it?  Why would I purposefully “negate” it in my life? I carry so many compelling feelings toward so many different things in my life….my husband & children, food, drink, exercise, nature, texts….Why would the Easterners of long ago ask me to “dis” on any of those fabulous things.

According to this specific sutra, “dispassion is the controlled consciousness of one who is without craving for sense objects, whether these are actually perceived or described (in scripture).”

A sense object, according to Bryant, can be external, like a brilliantly brewed pint of beer or an exotically etched high-heel shoe. It can also be internal, like the desire to be respected or admired. Both of these types of attachments, or cravings, will eventually cause a person suffering. Other examples he names:

• ·      food
• ·      drink
• ·      power
• ·      the opposite sex

"How?" I asked myself, as I lay snuggled in a fuzzy blanket (sense object) with my favorite book (sense object) and my beloved cup of strong coffee (another sense object). How is my blanket and coffee, which I really WANT on a Sunday morning going to cause me suffering? That sounds silly.

As I read on, Bryant pointed out that sensual gratification is temporary. There is a beginning and an end to the pleasant sensations it brings. Eventually, I will put this blanket away and my coffee will be gone. If, per chance,  I don’t get to experience my time on the couch at all, with those warm, sensual objects, I will most likely miss it…perhaps even be frustrated or irritated that I didn’t get it.

If something is purchased, for example...like a (    fill in the blank here of your favorite item you like to purchase    ), it is exciting and may cause happiness there in the store. A person may even experience pridefullness upon showing it to the world. At some point, though, that item loses its luster, either because it has taken one too many scuffs against the world, or because it simply becomes ordinary and boring. Either way, the pleasantry, associated with purchasing, showing, & using that item, ends.

After the end of the pleasurable experience with the object, the craving for another object begins.

It is a “never-ending pursuit of ephemeral pleasure,” according to Bryant, that brings a person to a life of suffering.

Hmmm. 

How does this apply in my space?

Well, this morning, I craved a few things:

• ·      a cup of perfectly, strong-brewed coffee (palatial pleasure)
• ·      a pillow and warm blanket (somatosensory pleasure)
• ·      at least an hour of relaxation time on a comfortable chair (somatosensory pleasure)
• ·      and quality conversation with my husband (emotional pleasure)

I suppose if my coffee pot had broke this morning and my husband had went straight to his man-cave to work on his car, I would have been less than pleased. There is no doubt. I would have experienced frustration at the removal of such named sensory pleasures. I may have even carried my cloudy mood around with me all day… its flag whipping in the wind for all to see.

Okay, great. So, I get it. Attachment to sensory objects, within and without, lead to some level of frustration when the object is removed and the degree to which that object is removed affects the degree of the frustration.

Now what?

According to Bryant, the Eastern scholars of such beliefs prescribe the following to-dos:

• ·      try to break external attachments
• ·      recognize which attachments have been broken and which ones still need work
• ·      and then, after all external attachments have been broken, start working on the internal attachments

Sounds easy enough (not).

Today I will practice indifference to objects I crave whether they are available or not. If they are available, I will recognize the defects in indulging. 

I, quite honestly, don’t even know what that looks like in the real world. It makes sense, conceptually, but now I have to consider what I WANT today, then think about how its just going to make me WANT more of it later, and then not partake in the object so that I avoid the creation of desirous attachment.

Holy cow. Wish me luck.

Does that include doing yoga? Because I really want to do some yoga right now ;).

Fast Yoga?

Fast Yoga? 

Since 2002, Rodney Yee (the backbend-boy above) has been leading me toward understanding yoga. He is a popular TV personality known for his excellent yogic health and motivational prowess and I have been copying his "way" of doing yoga on and off over the course of the last 10 years. I have not questioned any pose or considered any other implications that may or may not have been associated with his "way". 

This year, though, I began studying to become a certified yoga teacher. What I found in my new experiences with my new yoga master is that the "way" of doing yoga has changed from what I thought was THE way. As a group, we move from asana (pose) to asana, pausing frequently to align our bodies and engage our muscles. We spend a lot of time in each pose.

Before, in my Rodney days, I had moved quickly, from asana to asana, using the breath as a measure of how long to take between poses and sometimes how long to hold a pose. This equates to a fast-flowing dance that gives me little time to think about how squared-up my hips are or if kidney loop is in the correct position. 

So, I went to the internet to research why some yoga sequences are so danged fast and why some are so darned slow. 

Yoga Journal names this rapidly-paced style of yoga as Ashtanga Vinyasa. Right away, it was apparent that it came down to "style". Rodney Yee's "way" wasn't just his...it belonged to a school of yoga which he practices. It is meant to be practiced after a yogi understands how each pose is correctly formed. Once a person understand the proper form, he or she can move quickly and really work up a lot of body energy.

The slower type of yoga, that I have recently been exposed to, is called Hatha, according to the Sanatan Organization, and it is a style of yoga that focuses on alignment and desensitization of the senses while holding a pose. 

To me, that focus on alignment and pulling away from the discomforts of a pose gave me the reward of a glowing vibration deep in the core of my self that feels like a store of energy. This store seems to last throughout the day, which I need as a busy mother of three. I helps me keep going with power.

Thanks, Rodney, for the ten-year introduction to Ashtanga Vinyasa. I'll be focusing now on a more slow and inwardly-focused "way" of yoga. Maybe, someday, when I'm feeling really firm in my knowledge of the asana's, I'll revisit your fast yoga.

Seated Meditation

Seated Meditation

In the video below, I demonstrate three topics: Siddhasana (Accomplished Posed), Anjali Mudra, & Ujjayi Breath.

Siddhasana is a seated posed used for mediation. It is slightly different that a cross legged pose in that you either stack your feet atop each other and slightly tuck the top foot in, or the two feet are lined up at the mid-line and laying flat next to each other at the perineum. This pose stretches the knees and ankles and strengthens the upper back. Use it to relieve stress. If you have a knee injury the deep bend in the knee will compress the joint, further causing irriation. Try folding strap a few times and tucking the strap behind the bend of the knee before getting seated. It opens the knee space just enough to help with the discomfort. If you find your knees won't open to the point that they are in line or below your hips, sit on a folded towel or blanket. 

Anjali Mudra is the second topic demonstrated in the video. Spreading the fingers wide, and keeping the upper arm bone in line with the sides, meat the hands at the chest so that the thumbs gently rest on the heart. Keep the palms softly domed. This hand gesture focused at the heart serves a reminder of the center of your being and where an opening will occur. This opening will allow the person meditating to accept all parts of the self with softness. The benefits of Anjali Mudra is that it relieves stress, calms the mind, and increases flexibility in the wrists and hands. 

The third item shown on the video is Ujjayi breath. Drawing the crease of the neck softly back and up toward the skull, take a deep breath. Begin the breath with first filling the tummy, then the lungs, then the collar bone area with clean, purifying air. Blow out the air in the reverse action: dropping the collar bones, resting the lungs, and then the belly. Each inhale force and duration, mirrors that of the exhale. Now constrict the back of the throat in such a gentle manner that the sound begins to mimic ocean waves balancing inward and outward on the sandy shores of an ocean. 

In this pose, using this hand gesture, and employing this breathing technique, a person can concentrate upon an aspiration or intention toward their highest good or one can simply focus on the breath to clear the mind of all thoughts. The first will help a person acknowledge their intentions (ichha) and the latter will allow a person to be free from the business of the mind. 

So, try it out. Wait not, until the day is still, for most days never cease in their busyness. Just take a seat and practice this stillness. If something interrupts you, remember that our days are filled with interruption and the practice of keeping this balanced relaxation while the busyness of life continues is the whole purpose. 

Namaste.

Beginnings

Beginning a Journey 

I recently began the journey of becoming an instructor of yoga. This not only lends towards the idea that I will someday lead a group of yogis in asanas, but also that I will be an instrument of the Buddhi Mind. 

The Buddhi Mind refers to spiritual intelligence or the will of the mind to know what it dharmic (divinely natural & moral). Yoga is more than just physical poses that result in a beautifully sculpted body. It is a way to connect with what is divinely natural with the mind as well. 

When I stepped into a small yoga studio in Bellingham, Washington, I felt the pressing intention of this mind upon my skin. Warmly painted walls hugged tightly an old wooden-planked floor and they were well-lit by three white-paned glass windows which looked out upon a ragged red-brick wall, a blacked roof, and pure-blue sky. It was a perfect mixture of reality and consciousness and I knew right away I was in the right place.

Among a group of warm-faced yogis, I spent eight hours practicing asanas, meditating on higher intentions, and discussing topics focused on the Universal Principals of Alignment (a topic best discussed at a later date).

I left sore but filled with a vibration of light that was unique and welcome. Again, a perfect balance of reality and consciousness.  

This week, as I prepare to meet with my Kula (yogi community), I have studied Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, the Bagavad Gita, and other ancient Vedic texts. I have practiced breathing techniques, asanas, and pronouncing sanskrit words more correctly. I am keeping a journal, videotaping myself in practice, and publishing my work on venues such as YouTube and Pinterest. 

During my training,  I intend to tell you what I know and show you what I am learning. This will become a space for me to gather my knowledge, reflect upon it, and ultimately create knowledge for my mind...a blooming buddhi mind.