Still Your Mind

To my children:

In your lifetime, now & in the future, you have and will experience things that cause you to feel bad. I have witnessed these occurrences many times since the first of you were born in 1992. 

- sadness over a lost toy

- frustration towards an intruding sibling

- embarrassment at being different 

- jealousy regarding a friends abundance of mall T's and cool shoes

- self-doubt as a result of not being invited to a party

- fear of getting a bad grade or not performing well at a sport

Each of these words (sadness, frustration, embarrassment, jealousy, self-doubt, & fear) are examples of how humans suffer. These types of negative experiences will re-occur over & over in your lifetime. Later they look a bit different. Perhaps like this:

- sadness if you have to move away from a place you love

- frustration towards outsiders in the affairs of your relationship

- embarrassment at having said something you didn't quite think through

- jealousy over the nice things your neighbor may have (boats, nice landscaping, fine clothes, etc)

- self-doubt after the breakup of a serious relationship

- fear of not meeting your spouse's expectations

My point here is that as you move through different stages of development, the problems you encounter change, yet stay the same. You will not escape problems. They will just look different depending on where you are at in your life. 

Childhood tears lead to teenage angst. 

Teenage angst morphs into the stresses of college life. 

The stresses of college life often turn into the pressures of raising a young family. 

The pressures of raising a young family lead to the responsibilities of sending older children to college. 

The responsibilities of sending those older children to college lead to the adjustment of losing your youthfulness and preparing for retirement. 

And so on. 

The problems or sufferings in your life will not let up. 

I have a great message, though, to share with you. I have found a way to greatly reduce the pain that is associated with all of the obstacles you are going to face in the future. This 'way' can even help you put to rest the discomforts of negative experiences in your past. 

The way is this:

Practice restraint, stillness, and neutrality of your constantly moving state of mind.  

I watch you all sitting around thinking about your problems. You analyze them, make assumptions about what others are thinking, create grand stories about what is going to happen next. You place your problems (and yourself) into a very limiting box and just settle into the made-up story that you came up with. 

Many times you make huge mistakes in your thinking. You only analyze a partial list of the facts; you assume completely wrong; and things don't look at all like the ending you made up in your noggin. Most of the time all that thinking just caused you suffering (confusion, frustration, disappointment, and sadness). 

So, let us learn how to still the madness of thoughts bouncing around in our mind like monkeys. Let us learn what to do when we experience this Monkey Mind. Read my words; believe them because I have lived them; trust me; and then try the things I ask of you. 

I love you. 

I love the people you are in love with. 

I love your children and the people they love 

And I love your children's children and all the people whose lives they will touch. 

Let us us do good together and plant the seeds of happiness that will ripple out to them all. 

Dispassion....for coffee, too??

Dispassion was the first word I saw when I opened my favorite 598 page book, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: A New Edition, Translation, and Commentary by Edwin Bryant.

The word immediately struck a cord. I didn’t need to read anymore. I knew right away that the Eastern Yogic tradition was going to enlighten me about how my “passions” should be of the “dis” nature. 

Passion is one of my favorite words, though. How could I possibly choose to have a lack of it?  Why would I purposefully “negate” it in my life? I carry so many compelling feelings toward so many different things in my life….my husband & children, food, drink, exercise, nature, texts….Why would the Easterners of long ago ask me to “dis” on any of those fabulous things.

According to this specific sutra, “dispassion is the controlled consciousness of one who is without craving for sense objects, whether these are actually perceived or described (in scripture).”

A sense object, according to Bryant, can be external, like a brilliantly brewed pint of beer or an exotically etched high-heel shoe. It can also be internal, like the desire to be respected or admired. Both of these types of attachments, or cravings, will eventually cause a person suffering. Other examples he names:

• ·      food
• ·      drink
• ·      power
• ·      the opposite sex

"How?" I asked myself, as I lay snuggled in a fuzzy blanket (sense object) with my favorite book (sense object) and my beloved cup of strong coffee (another sense object). How is my blanket and coffee, which I really WANT on a Sunday morning going to cause me suffering? That sounds silly.

As I read on, Bryant pointed out that sensual gratification is temporary. There is a beginning and an end to the pleasant sensations it brings. Eventually, I will put this blanket away and my coffee will be gone. If, per chance,  I don’t get to experience my time on the couch at all, with those warm, sensual objects, I will most likely miss it…perhaps even be frustrated or irritated that I didn’t get it.

If something is purchased, for example...like a (    fill in the blank here of your favorite item you like to purchase    ), it is exciting and may cause happiness there in the store. A person may even experience pridefullness upon showing it to the world. At some point, though, that item loses its luster, either because it has taken one too many scuffs against the world, or because it simply becomes ordinary and boring. Either way, the pleasantry, associated with purchasing, showing, & using that item, ends.

After the end of the pleasurable experience with the object, the craving for another object begins.

It is a “never-ending pursuit of ephemeral pleasure,” according to Bryant, that brings a person to a life of suffering.

Hmmm. 

How does this apply in my space?

Well, this morning, I craved a few things:

• ·      a cup of perfectly, strong-brewed coffee (palatial pleasure)
• ·      a pillow and warm blanket (somatosensory pleasure)
• ·      at least an hour of relaxation time on a comfortable chair (somatosensory pleasure)
• ·      and quality conversation with my husband (emotional pleasure)

I suppose if my coffee pot had broke this morning and my husband had went straight to his man-cave to work on his car, I would have been less than pleased. There is no doubt. I would have experienced frustration at the removal of such named sensory pleasures. I may have even carried my cloudy mood around with me all day… its flag whipping in the wind for all to see.

Okay, great. So, I get it. Attachment to sensory objects, within and without, lead to some level of frustration when the object is removed and the degree to which that object is removed affects the degree of the frustration.

Now what?

According to Bryant, the Eastern scholars of such beliefs prescribe the following to-dos:

• ·      try to break external attachments
• ·      recognize which attachments have been broken and which ones still need work
• ·      and then, after all external attachments have been broken, start working on the internal attachments

Sounds easy enough (not).

Today I will practice indifference to objects I crave whether they are available or not. If they are available, I will recognize the defects in indulging. 

I, quite honestly, don’t even know what that looks like in the real world. It makes sense, conceptually, but now I have to consider what I WANT today, then think about how its just going to make me WANT more of it later, and then not partake in the object so that I avoid the creation of desirous attachment.

Holy cow. Wish me luck.

Does that include doing yoga? Because I really want to do some yoga right now ;).

Permanent Body Ornamentation

Permanent Body Ornamentation

I have wanted to decorate my skin with art for a long time. I did once, back in college, at the wee age of 21. I chose a drawing that I found scribbled in a used poetry book and placed it on the back of my ankle. I liked it then and even with it's 17 year old blurred appearance, I like it now. Today, though, the only skin art I've hung is that one little ink blot from that time long ago. That fact is due to two causes. One, is that my husband's career as a naval officer leads to events where I am adorned in formal dresses that show my shoulders, upper back, and arms. These locations, then, have been "out" as far as stamping goes. Second, the one that trumps the first....my husband doesn't like tattoos.

I chose not to get one mostly for the second cause. I couldn't reason with myself as to why I would want to permanently place a mark on my body that I knew my husband found distasteful. So, I didn't...for 16 years.

Recently, though, our son recently gained two tattoos, which has brought a lot of discussion about the controversy...even a little heated debate. Through all of the conversation, though, my husband began to soften on his outlook towards the decorative ritual and over the course of a year's worth of conversation on the topic, gave me the seal of approval to brand myself as I wished.

This brought upon me great reflection. What image would I even want on my body? I had not allowed myself to entertain the idea for so long that I didn't even have the answer to that question. The first thing I need to ask myself was, What is my purpose in permanently branding my skin with art? Besides the basic desire for ornamentation, which dates back to civilizations in ancient Africa and India thousands of years ago, I would like the art I choose to serve a purpose. I want it to bring my focus towards an abstract concept that is connected with something important to my own sense of values. What I decided upon was the concept of self-awareness and enlightenment. 

I have been actively pursuing my own awakening and emergence from ignorance for three years now. I  started reading buddhist literature, then began attending Buddhist fellowship gatherings, and even obtained a spiritual guide to help me on my path. Presently, I just read the Buddhist literature, but have recently began reading ancient yogic texts such as the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. I even began the certification process to become a yoga instructor. Regardless of the tool, Yoga or Buddhism, my path towards enlightened self-awareness is solidly stamped upon my lifestyle. It will remain with me for all of my days.

So, with the intention to find an image that brings my awareness to this important abstract concept, I move forward in the direction of obtaining a permanent piece of body ornamentation....

In comes the LOTUS....According to Buddhists.org, a " lotus flower fully bloomed and open represents full enlightenment and self-awareness".  This lotus below shows the type of bloom my lotus will have. It will be full and open.

Placement is a pretty important part of this decision, as well. I will  lace the lotus on the base of the neck, where the shoulders meet at the top of the back. The reason for that placement? Here, at the back of the throat, the throat chakra, is a place where the true essence of one's truth resides. Through this chakra, one is able to share and communicate truthfulness.

Lastly, what kind of color does this tattoo need? Well, I am not a colorful person. I love black, grey, navy blue, and dark earth tones. At first a grey was tattoo seemed appropriate, but I am rethinking that. I think I will go mostly grey washed with tips of red color on the petals. The reason for red: on a lotus flower it represents compassion and love. 

In conclusion, I have chosen four important abstract concepts to go into my body art...love, compassion, truth, and, ultimately, enlightenment. The object chosen: a lotus. The placement: the back of the neck. The color: grey wash with red.

Now it's time to call Bandana Mike's Skin Art...but not before I break the news to Husband. Wish me luck on the latter. It may be more painful than the tatto.

Non-Violence

Non-violence

My homework for this week was to study the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Specifically, my task was to look through the second chapter and be ready to discuss a sutra. The sutra that stuck out like sharpened object in a bed of pillows was II.30.

This sutra describes one of the eight limbs of yoga, which is a fairly well-known list of eight tasks which leads to liberation or enlightenment. This first limb is a list of abstentions, or actions of self-denial, that are, due to their position as the FIRST limb, the most important to practice in order to move across the limbs towards the central goal.

The FIRST word on the list of abstentions, again being the most important on that limb: nonviolence.

Let me back up here, just one moment, and explain that so far, the sutras have suited my beliefs well. I have been practicing many of the limbs without even knowing they were LIMBS. I practice virtuosity, austerity, asanas (yoga postures), & meditation. All of them have led me to the place I am now…working toward gaining a yoga teacher certification so that I may lead others toward the path of enlightenment. In order to do this, it is necessary to understand yoga, its history, and its current indications as practiced in the west.

Back to that sutra of nonviolence. According to Patanjali, the sage who took many ancient scriptures of India and collected them as a manual towards becoming a yogi, nonviolence is not harming any creature at any time. Of course this meaning was shared not by Patanjali himself, but by a scholar who is commenting on Patanjali’s sutras. Patanjali just says practice “nonviolence”.  It is the commentator today, and according to him, other commentators dating back to the fourth or fifth century, that divulge what Patanjali really means by the word.

So, the word, “nonviolence”, was especially sharp to me as I read through the sutras that describe the limbs. The commentator, Edwin F. Bryant, explains that “one can be very clear about the fact that eating meat, nourishing one’s body at the expense of the flesh of other living beings, is completely taboo for aspiring yogis” (p243).

This is where I put my book down in my lap and looked out over my middle-east-inspired carpet with great uncertainty. Can I abstain from eating living beings? Does it make sense to not kill things for the nourishment of my own body? How much discomfort will I endure if I practice this abstention? Is this commentator correct? Are the commentators before him correct?

This morning those questions still need answering. Killing things to eat them does, in fact, bring a sense of sadness to my heart. I have always tried very hard not to know about the life associated with my meat-food. Just recently, I moved to only eating meat from farms, where animals are “happy”. Is it any better to kill happy animals than it is to kill unhappy animals.

In a state of unrest, my mind will continue to ponder. I will certainly be speaking with my master Anusara yoga teacher regarding the issue…and I am left to wonder…A year from now, will I look back upon this as a pivotal moment in my spiritual and physical journey?

Bryant, Edwin F. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. New York: North Point Press, 2009. Print.