I am not a destroyer of
life.
This is what I knew when I read the following quote:
“From the backstabbing
co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to
the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over
your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus
on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become
destroyers of life.” ―Anais Nin
Anais had taken my
attention at that last line. I am not a destroyer of life. I thought about all
the times I may have behaved as such. Under the common stresses of raising
three teenagers in the nomadic Navy family lifestyle, I have certainly been
guilty of such. The stresses had caused many instances of impatience, grumblings, complaints, and dissatisfactions.
This past week for example,
I had given much attention to the past. Living in it. Remembering it. Talking
about. Arguing about it. I had spent days in private contemplation about it and
had spent more than a few hours giving it verbal power. How much negativity had I
sent out into the universe? Oh, how I knew then that I had a been a “destroyer
of life” as Nin had described. I had taken precious positive interactions away from my children and created negative space between my husband and myself.
So, I flipped it. Instead
of reading the part on negativity and thinking about it and perhaps even
feeling shame, I just chose to flip it. I attended, then, to the positive
message. She says to choose happiness. To take control. To focus on important
matters of life.
And so I did.
I’ve spent the last twenty
four hours practicing her suggestion. I focused on now…providing clean food for
my family, eating dessert together while talking and laughing. I said yes to my
children’s requests for attention. I made phone calls. I texted people. I
smiled. Laughed. I talked with my husband about our favorite activities. I made plans with him.
I flooded the evening and
morning with happiness…with joy…with life. And by doing so, the negativity…those
ripples that ring out for eternity with begrudging energy…were drowned out. No time was left for negative thinking.
Try it. Practice it. And
when your falter, just start again. Listen to the good in every minute. Hear it
and send it back out with your voice, your eyes, your touch.
